What to do after a parent-teacher conference

Have you ever left a parent-teacher conference feeling both hopeful and unsure? Many parents of kids with learning and thinking differences have felt this way. Especially when the meeting brought to light their child’s trouble with reading or math.

In this episode, Julian Saavedra talks with Kareem Neal, a special education teacher from Arizona. Listen as Kareem shares: 

• How parents can use important points from these meetings to create an action plan to help their child succeed

• Ways for improving communication with the teacher

• Why it’s important to monitor a child’s progress

We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at opportunitygap@understood.org.

Related resources

• Parent-teacher conferences: How to get ready for your next meeting

• Parent-teacher conferences: Toolkit for families

• 9 tips to make the most of your parent-teacher conference

Timestamps

(01:28) What parents can do to enhance their child’s learning 

(03:10) Steps to take after meeting with your child’s teacher

(09:48) How parents and teachers can work together to create goals

(12:50) Ways to keep track of your child’s progress

Episode transcript

Julian: Parent-teacher conferences are vital opportunities to engage with your child's education and whether the conference meeting went well or revealed some challenges, it's important to know how to move forward.

What's going on OG family? Welcome to a new episode of the "Opportunity Gap." I'm your host, Julian. On today's show, we're exploring how parents can build on the momentum from parent-teacher meetings to support their child's learning and development.

Joining us today is a friend slash, — I don't know, I feel like you're our co-host now because you've been out here so much and we love it — but friend of the show, Kareem Neal. Kareem is a special education teacher, award-winning, I will always. press that, award-winning special education teacher in Phoenix, Arizona, and he's been teaching over 25 years. Kareem, my brother was going on? Welcome back to the show. How are you?

Kareem: I'm doing well. I'm on fall break right now, so I'm doing really well.

Julian: It's just so good to hear that. You sound relaxed. All right, let's get right to it. After a successful parent-teacher conference, it's really important to keep the momentum going. Kareem, question for you, what specific steps can parents take to enhance their child's learning and development?

(01:28) What parents can do to enhance their child's learning

Kareem: Yeah, I think at the parent-teacher conference, one thing that you will get that will help everybody throughout the year, the student mostly, but it will help the parent and the teacher as well as figuring out the best mode of communication.

You know, I think about how earlier in my career I decided what was the best form of communication, whether it was at first for me, you know, when you first start teaching, you're just like, I got to make my whole life easier. Then it was, oh it seems like parents liked time, right? Or a blank way of communicating, and I would try that. But that is not everybody, you know, It needs to be as individualized as possible. And then once the communication lines are great, all things fall into place.

Julian: Right, right, right. Knowing how you prefer to be communicated with is one of the most instrumental things you can do because it guarantees a predictable line of communication, right? Like whether it be one of the apps that's out there. You know, there's Class Dojo, there's Parents Square, there's Reminds, there's the different newsletters that you can get sent out from families. Some folks just like to get the text every day. Some people like an email every couple of weeks. Some people might even get a phone call.

Whatever you think is going to work for you, being clear with the teacher and not walking away from that conference without that clarified is most important. So, just thinking about, you know, a successful parent-teacher conference, you know, the family's feeling really good because you got to share all the great things that this child is doing. What do you think the family should do on the way home?

(03:10) Steps to take after meeting with your child's teacher

Kareem: When you're going home with your child, talk about all the positive things because you're going to get to the other things. You're going to get to the ways they need to be helped and the ways that they can improve. But I love for it to feel like, "Man, that teacher really has my back and my parents are really happy for me" and things like that. So, that when they say, "Oh, and also, you know, tomorrow when it reminded you when you go to school, you make sure you also have your materials out because that was one of those things that we were worried about" and it becomes much more palatable.

Julian: Exactly. Now, the flip side. So, sometimes a parent-teacher conference might reveal that a child is struggling. What are some specific things that the family should do immediately after walking away from a conference where struggles have been shared?

Kareem: Yeah, I think the first thing to do is, again, to figure out all the ways in which the child is doing well and to talk about those things, to make sure that it is just not a, you're left from talking to the teacher, and both of y'all have decided that that child is bad or behind or whatever it is, that you don't want that to be that first impression. So, I do think finding a way to make sure you are highlighting a lot of the great things they're doing because they're doing a lot of great things. All students are doing a lot of great things and they have some some things they need to work on.

And so then it's like and so, you know, "Mr. Neal or whoever the teacher is, was thinking that these are ways that we can improve in math. What kinds of things do you think would be great to make it seem like this full team operation?" Right? Or "Mr. Neal was thinking that, you know, before lunch every day, you know, you get a little bit antsy, you get a little bit frustrated at his lessons. What are some of the kinds of things you think we could come up with to make sure that those things are taken care of so we can continue to focus on all of these positive things?"

So, something like that to make it seem like a team effort because I think children are used to us just running their lives completely. And so, if they hear, "Oh and the teacher said, you're not getting your work done, you're out here misbehaving in class and I'm tired of hearing these reports," etc., etc., because it's like it's the same old thing as opposed to...

Julian: Yes. Yes.

Kareem: "OK, we're a little team here. We're going to see what we can do" to enhance some of that positive stuff that came out of that meeting because hopefully, they do feel like it was a positive meeting. At the end, you want all parents to feel like it was a positive meeting, even if there are some serious things that needed to be addressed, you addressed those things as well, but you can address them in a way that is not feeling like an attack.

Julian: What I hear from, you know, your answer, is giving a child a sense of agency. And, you know, one big mistake that I see, and it's really hard, right? Like, I understand myself that is really hard when it comes to your kids. But if a teacher or an administrator shares some struggles, sometimes we get into our feelings a little bit as parents, like we might have an emotional reaction. We might want to yell, we might want to get really upset. And the one thing I'm going to tell you is you have to, have to, have to stay calm. Stay calm, and focus more on specific action steps that you and the child and the teacher can walk away with.

Like, what are some specific things that we can do based on the struggles that we just heard? Right? And giving a child a chance to share their answers and share their suggestions in an open space, like again in the car, right? Like as you're riding home, let him share, and let him talk, let him explain what they think. That's a great way to do it because then it allows the child to have agency.

So, thinking about that, right? Where you, as much as you want to fuss and get upset, as much as you want to you, you've gotten yourself com as a family member, you've said, "You know what? I'm just going to listen to what you have to say." What are some specific suggestions that you would coach parents to tell their child if they're hearing about struggles in school?

So, for example, would you suggest them to always seek out tutoring? Would you suggest them to go look for resources? Like what are some things that might immediately help when a teacher explains some struggles?

Kareem: I would think that the teacher didn't do a great job if they said, "You know, they're just struggling in reading, they're not they're not keeping up with the class. So, tough, tough luck kid." You know, as opposed to giving some ideas of how we can get the family to maybe read together at night or what activities out there are things that help build reading? Right? Like, "Oh, my child likes being on a computer. Are there things on a computer, Mr. Neal, that you think would be helpful?" I think that plans need to be set when you leave the classroom.

Julian: Got it. And got it. So, what I'm hearing him say, families, is in the course of the meeting, make sure that you ask for resources or you make sure that there is some sort of specific action that you're walking away from before you leave the table. Right? Because we know those conferences last for 15, 20 minutes at the most. There's a lot of information that can be shared. So, go into the meeting with a plan.

And especially those of you that have children with learning and thinking differences, you're OG at this, right? You already know how to do this because you're at IEP meetings all the time. Like you know how to go into a meeting with the plan. For a parent-teacher conference, you want to make sure that you do the same thing. So, let's talk a little bit about the idea of goals. If you're in a parent conference, you may want to create something called a SMART goal.

For the listeners out there, a SMART goal is education talk. It's in a lot of different things, but the acronym SMART is for a specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and my favorite, time-bound. When is it going to get done by? So, thinking about a SMART goal, what's your tip, Kareem, for families? How do they go about creating a SMART goal in that parent-teacher conference before they leave?

(09:48) How parents and teachers can work together to create goals

Kareem: One of the first things that needs to happen for parents is, of course, the time part. I think parents need to come out saying, "Is there a way that we can help this at home or is it going to take four hours a night? You know, because that we can't do." It is important to, for the parent to communicate to the teacher, "This is the time I have as well. These are the ways that learning happens at home," so that SMART goals can get done. Right?

So, it's I don't want to do a goal ever that no one can meet. And I think it is helpful for the teacher to be a part of a parent figuring out what can be done for a student, right? And so we can say, "OK, given all the information I have, these are suggestions."

Julian: One specific tip that I use as an administrator, you know, I have family communication constantly, every day, all day. And one of the habits that I think families are really receptive to, in the course of the meeting, making sure that you set the date and time when you're going to follow up. So, I always make sure that I send a Google invite for a follow-up conversation at the end of the meeting, right? We send it to each other in a Google calendar or we send a text message or whatever it is so that it's on the calendar and it's set.

"We're going to talk to each other in two weeks" or "We're going to talk to each other in a week, "or "We're going to check in with each other in a month" just so that we know exactly when the follow up is going to happen. And then I always make sure to send a summary in writing of what our action step or what our goal is going to be.

And one thing that I really love using is something called a daily report. And a daily report is a written, it's almost like a tracker that a lot of schools use where it's something that the child can check off based on their SMART goals. They can use that and have a teacher or a case manager or somebody check off the goals as the course of the day goes on.

And then it can come home with you so that you can see it and you and your child can have a conversation about it. All of those require clear communication, clear communication. If you don't remember anything else from this episode, remember families establish how and when you're going to communicate with the school.

Kareem: Easily the most important thing. Easily.

Julian: Yes. Yes.

Kareem: I think the times that parents have been frustrated with me have never been about my dedication to the field that has been about them not being able to reach me, or me not reaching them fast enough or something like that. And I think other teachers go through that same thing. It's like, "Don't surprise me with a bad report five weeks after it happened" or something like that.

Julian: So, Kareem, last question. We talked about communication, right? Are there specific ways that you can recommend families to stay engaged with a teacher to monitor their child's progress?

(12:50) Ways to keep track of your child's progress

Kareem: So, one thing that has worked so well for me since after COVID happened, I won't say after COVID ended because it did not, but, you know, after COVID happened.

Julian: Yes.

Kareem: Was, you mentioned it earlier, quickly. But it was Class Dojo. And I say it only because of, for communication that you might have a parent who does not speak the same language you speak. And so, those, that kind of thing has been big. I know there's a couple of other programs that do that. But I do love that for a way of parents keeping in touch with teachers, having the kind of communication tool that also allows for language so that all family members can feel like they're a part of it, right?

So, if the teacher is still using, I guess, written notes home or just calls home or something like that, I would say maybe suggest it to a teacher like, "Is there a program that you can think of that could do the translating?" And also, you know, the beauty of programs like that as I'm sending class pictures there or work samples.

Julian: Yes.

Kareem: So, there is there is tools like that out there that I think should be used because of how difficult it is to communicate anyway, right? It is it is not the easiest thing to say to a teacher "Oh you could call me, but best times for me is between 12 noon and 3:00 pm." So, while I'm teaching them, I can't do it, you know? I love the use of for me Class Dojo, but I love the use of that kind of a broader communication device, not just text message, not just calls home, not just...

You know, even when I would take notes home in the past, I would also, you know, use Google Translate and send it in Spanish as well, because I had a few Spanish-speaking parents. But I like the comprehensive nature of something like Class Dojo to facilitate that because it's coming in waves. They're getting pictures, they're getting text messages, you know, whatever they need is for communication needs are there and that's when they get to do it on their own time. You can do it from your phone. You can do it from a computer. So, it's really helpful.

Julian: There you hear it first, families. Using apps like Class Dojo, like Parents Square, like Blooms, like all the different things out there. Reminds is another one that schools use a lot. Most school districts have some sort of communication tool that their teachers are required to use. So, really utilizing that as the primary form of communication is a great first step.

Remember, the most important thing to take away from this episode? Create a system and a way to communicate with the teacher in the school and keep the momentum going for positive reinforcement. Have specific action steps for how you're going to support your child and check in with your teacher to see what you can do to support them too. That's the whole goal of this. We're a family. We work together.

Kareem, I really appreciate you, brother. I'm glad you could come on again. You always drop some dimes and tips and information and it just really is inspiring and helpful for us. I appreciate you for coming on. Thank you so much for sharing great advice.

Kareem: Thanks for having me. I think it's super important because I've seen when the communication has improved between the parents of my students and I, everything has improved. And it's very quick to get that positive momentum going if you have a good form of communication with your parents, all of a sudden they are there, are out there on the front lines saying "Teachers are the best and we need them all the things to teachers." And it is really helpful. So, I hope everybody gets a chance to figure that out if they haven't figured it out already with their teachers.

Julian: OG family, don't forget to check out the additional resources in the show notes. Remember, the conversation doesn't stop at the classroom door. Collaboration between home and school can truly make a difference. Thanks again, Kareem, and until next time, OG family. We'll see you on the other side.

Thanks so much for listening today. We love hearing from our listeners. So, if you have any thoughts about today's episode, you can email us at opportunitygap@understood.org. And be sure to check out the show notes for links and resources to anything we mentioned in the episode.

This show is brought to you by Understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences like ADHD and dyslexia. Learn more at understood.org.

The "Opportunity Gap" is produced by Tara Drinks and edited by Daniela Tello-Garzon. Our theme music was written by Justin D. Wright, who also mixes the show. Ilana Millner is our supervising producer. Briana Berry is our production director. Neil Drumming is our editorial director. Our executive directors are Laura Key, Scott Cocchiere, and Seth Melnick. Thanks again for listening.